It's MY Ring, {insert curse word here}!!!
by Eponine3
Summary: PG for mild swearing. Me and my friends are taken to Middle-Earth by our friendly dorm fairy god-freshman, and are given the Ring to protect!! And Eponine attempts to speak Sindarin!! Enter only the brave!
1. Of Snowmen and Jedi Masters

Y'Mean I Have To Be a GOOD GUY?!?  
  
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Author's Note: I know it'd been done before, but I couldn't pass up this opportunity… Hang on, it's going to be insane, weird, and most likely stupid… ^thinks a moment^ Funny too. Yeah, funny… Three freshmen, a junior, an elf, and a coupla other things thrown in… Heheheh…  
  
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Eponine, Imp, Shea, (the terrifyingly immature/arrogant freshmen) and Angel (the still terrifyingly immature, yet not so arrogant junior) were walking innocently along back to the girls' dorm one night, after becoming completely soaked with snowballs. Imp and Shea were dressed most appropriately, Imp having a huge fluffy down jacket, gloves, and a hat on over his t-shirt and jeans. Shea wore a long black vinyl trench coat, black pants of the same material, black gloves, and two black shirts under it all. Angel had two shirts, a black down vest, jeans, and gloves. Eponine, being reckless and idiotic as always, was wearing a black sweatshirt, jeans, and a black tank top under the sweatshirt. She was also muttering various curses to the wind, which was causing her soaking wet clothes to glue to her chilled skin.  
  
"'Ponine, maybe you should stop that…" Angel cautioned, as their headmaster passed them, giving Eponine a dark look.  
  
"…Amn wind- Sorry, could you perhaps repeat that?"  
  
"Eponine needs to stop reading Tolkien and Lord of the Rings fanfics."  
  
"Hey, look, it's a snowman!!!" Shea exclaimed. Various oohs and ahhs issued from the group, as this was no mere snowman. For at private high schools, everything is done in bigger ways, nine-foot tall snowmen not apart.  
  
"I've not seen a snowman in so long…" Eponine said, thinking of days past, when she could say, "I'm a damn Yankee and damn PROUD!" with complete honesty.  
  
"I've never seen a snowman that big before!" Imp exclaimed, thinking of the tiny snowmen he used to build in his youth. Which, according to Shea, wasn't all that long ago.  
  
"I've never seen a snowman!" Angel exclaimed, thinking apparently of warm Floridian winters.  
  
Defeated, Eponine and Imp hung their heads in shame, while Shea snickered mercilessly behind her hand.  
  
With no warning whatsoever, Imp and Eponine jumped Shea, and pinned her to the ground. Angel approached with a giant snowball.  
  
"No more gloating! None!" Angel said, holding the snowball menacingly above Shea's head.  
  
"Fine…" she muttered.  
  
"And, and… Can we have some hot chocolate???" Imp pleaded.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Just stop touching me!" Shea was released, and stood up. "RACE YOU!!!!" she screeched and dashed away to the girls' dorm. Eponine, Imp, and Angel followed, 'Ponine yelling her new battle cry of, "HOT CHOCOLAAAAATE!!!!"  
  
There came a great THUD from ahead. As Imp, Eponine, and Angel rounded a corner, they saw Shea sitting on the ground, rubbing her head and looking up, awestruck.  
  
"Obi-wan?!?"  
  
Sadly, the Jedi-master disappeared, leaving behind an enormous plot- hole.  
  
"Ooooh, whaz that?" Imp asked, reaching out to poke it.  
  
Shea grabbed his hand and threw it away from the plot-hole. "Careful! It could be dangerous!" She thinks a moment. "On second thought, come here…" Imp, having more brains than he's usually credited with, ran, Shea pursuing.  
  
"AAAAHHHHH!!!"  
  
"So what is it?" Angel asked, wandering around it.  
  
"I'M NOT GONNA HURT YOU!!!"  
  
Eponine tossed a stick into it. "Methinks 'tis a plot-hole."  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHH!!!"  
  
"Right… And that's….?"  
  
"COME HERE!!!!!!!"  
  
"I know not!" Eponine declared. She thrust a hand into the air. "But I intend to find out! Come, Angel, let us defeat this mystery! Who knows what evil devilry we shall encounter on the other side? But fear not! For my courage burns bright, and my companions tremble not! We shall- REMYYYY!!!" The last bit of the speech was issued in a high pitched squeak, as the hottest freshman in existence walks up. His blue-green eyes glinted in the darkness, and his brown trench coat swished the snow into little flurries… And his eyeeeeessss… Unfortunately, Eponine only got to stare at her own personal god of love for a mere moment, for she had been startled and fell into the plot-hole. Angel, trying to grab her as she fell in, tripped as well, and went in after her. Imp, not looking where he was going, ran right into the hole, followed closely by Shea. However, Remy attempted to stop Shea, presumably to say something to the tone of, "What the hell is that and where'd Eponine, Imp, and Angel go?" Alas, Shea, in her mad pursuit of Imp, simply shoved Remy into the plot-hole and dove after them all. A third girl, looking like a freshman in age, walked out of nowhere, shrugged, and waved her magic wand. The plot-hole closed, and the fairy god-freshman disappeared.  
  
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Yes, this's pointless insanity. No, I'm not going to stop. MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! 


	2. Of Fairy God-Freshmen and Hallucinogens

It's MY Ring!!! MINE, Y'Hear Me???  
  
  
  
A/N: There's a bit of bad grammar Elvish in here, whatever words seem really strange are translated at the bottom of the story.  
  
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Sissy the fairy god-freshman surveyed her work. Which looked rather more like damage to the average Joe, but, hey! She'd spent valuable gerbil-dust on this working!  
  
Imp, Angel, Eponine, Remy, and Shea lay sprawled across the grass on the hilltop. The sun shone brightly, the sky was robin's egg blue, obscured just right by fluffy white clouds. There were a few trees dotting the hill.  
  
The first to wake was Imp, who sat up, rubbing his eyes and moaning. He looked around him with a dazed expression, unable to see Sissy the fairy god-freshman, for invisibility was her pride talent, aside from mucking up dimensions. His eyes lit on Shea, and he quickly scrambled up a tree to hide. Eponine woke up next, jumping up immediately. She looked around, and up in the trees, seeing Imp there. She waved to him, and he called quietly to her.  
  
"Don't tell Shea where I am!"  
  
Eponine nodded and then looked at the unconscious people on the ground. "What the hell…?" she muttered. Then she spotted Remy, and found herself sitting very quickly. VERY quickly. "Reeeeeemmmmmyyyyy…"  
  
Angel woke, and saw Eponine sitting on the ground in a trance, staring at Remy. He walked over and shook her. "Reeeemmmmm- Yah! What the hell?!? I, I mean, what in the name of, of… Eru!!!"  
  
"Where are we?" he asked her. Remy began to wake up, which was good because now he wouldn't wake to Eponine's moon-sized eyes staring at him. Eep.  
  
"I know not…" she said sadly. "Mayhap we've been given hallucinogens?"  
  
"But I hid them so well!" cried Imp forlornly, not noticing Shea beginning to wake up.  
  
Eponine and Angel blinked at him.  
  
"I thought there was something that smelled… OFF in your room!" Angel accused.  
  
So despondent Imp about his lost drugs that he didn't even have the grace to look ashamed. Remy stood up, as did Shea.  
  
"Where're we? Where're we, where'rewe, where'rewe???" said Shea.  
  
Before anyone could reply, Sissy the fairy god-freshman giggled and waved her magic wand. A small, frantic squeak emitted, along with a bit of gray dust and a disgruntled Jedi master. She whispered something to him, he shook his head, and she whacked him over the head with her wand. He shrugged, his eyes slightly crossed, and walked over to Shea, who stared at him with wide open eyes, somewhat like what Eponine had looked like a few minutes earlier.  
  
Then Sissy the fairy god-freshman realized she was no longer invisible. She jumped, then ran to hide behind a tree. A pop noise was heard, and Sissy the fairy god-freshman disappeared.  
  
"Ummm, right. 'Kay then." Eponine poked Shea. "Sheeeeaaaa, wake up!"  
  
For this Obi-wan was the younger Obi-wan, and Shea had to be shoved to wake from her trance. However, apparently Eponine shoved too hard, and Shea fell on her face.  
  
"Whoops."  
  
Shea was distracted from her anger by Obi-wan, who stared wide-eyed at the sky and was of no help whatsoever in explaining the situation. Meanwhile, Imp had fallen out of the tree, and was standing with Eponine and Angel. Remy stood a few feet back, watching it all.  
  
Finally, Remy spoke. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Lookit the pretty floooowerssss…" As Obi-wan was staring at the sky, this made about as much sense to the high schoolers as Dr. Seuss' rhymes.  
  
"Yeah. Whatever you say, I see the flowers," Shea said indignantly, standing next to Obi-wan.  
  
Sissy the fairy god-freshman popped into sight, and ran over to the young Jedi master. "Can't trust you to do anything right, can I?" She muttered something in German. "Ooh, what'd you say?" Imp asked.  
  
"Nothing," Sissy said quickly. She grabbed Obi-wan's arm, then quickly released it at the murderous glare Shea was sending her way. "Since SOMEONE," she shook her wand at Obi-wan, who was still muttering at the sky, "Has decided to go all kooky on me, I guess I have to explain it myself. In a few minutes, a bunch of very odd, um, people are going to come running up that hill. They have a very valuable object. VERY VALUABLE, you hear me???… No? Oh, what do I care? I'm bored." She seized Obi-wan's arm again, telling Shea, "It's alright, dear, he's really rather dull." Then she popped away with him, calling, "Alannnnnaaaaa???"  
  
"Well. That was… odd." Angel could say no more, because he was cut off by a calling voice.  
  
"RUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!"  
  
Nine, um, people were running up the hill. One was wearing long grey robes, and had long white hair and beard. Five were unusually short, and four of them were barefoot. One was very tall, and had long, golden hair. Two looked like normal men, except that they seemed very rugged.  
  
The group ran past, and Eponine and Shea noticed something very familiar about it. Then they were off after the group, both yelling different things.  
  
"LEGOLAS!!!!!" Eponine yelled.  
  
"ARAGORN!!!!" Shea yelled.  
  
"WAAAAIIIT!!!" the guys yelled behind them.  
  
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*Eru: God  
  
~*~ Wow, that really sucked. I kinda got stuck, so I'll end this chapter here and figure out what to do next in the meantime. Yeah… Wow, this sucked, they'll get better, I promise! 


End file.
